Hi,all..I’m still trying to get acquainted with wordpress. There’s no shoutbox,for one. I’m not able to copy my favourites list from the rediff template,etc. So, till further notice,I’m back on http://amitsmusings.rediffblogs.com.

Thought for the day:A spoon does not know the taste of soup, nor a learned fool the taste of wisdom.Bigg Boss becomes more interesting in it’s last week. I made one error when I predicted the four finalists. (Ravi,Carol,Rupali,Rakhi)…instead of Rupali, it’s the Aashique guy,Rahul Roy, who managed to stay ‘in’, perhaps courtesy the fact that he’s a silent observer,nee,khiladi. (Like me?LOL). Any guesses as to the final winner, co-bloggers? I’d guess Carol. (I can see Mehak grr-ing at my not saying Rakhi)

I’ve been wondering who Bigg Boss himself is? It sounds so much like Jackie Shroff(Remember his polite voice in King Uncle?)..perhaps all will be revealed on Friday? It might not be, if there’s going to be a ‘next edition’.

Kashmira made a cute quote yesterday’ You should take Rakhi’s words as seriously as you would take yesterday’s newspaper’. LOL. I do wonder, though, how some dialogues from Rakhi, like yesterday’s ‘ My pa*ty’s drying outside’(When they’re packing a small briefcase(no pun intended) get through unedited and uncensored? Indian television really seems to have come of age.
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Cute ad of the week: Baby Sitting With Love and Care…and there’s a caricature of a baby with a cute ponytail sticking out from the top of his head.
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For some reason, I was reminded of a quote from ‘Married to the Kelly’s’..the lead star is being taught by his brother-in-law, how to ensure there’re no arguments with the fairer sex. He says’ Whatever happens, you should only say’ I understand exactly how you feel’, instead of carrying an argument further. What do you think?Is that the easiest solution to avoid any arguments/enjoy eternal marital bliss?

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Small note to self: Seven down, Eight to go.

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News of the week: A Californian woman called Darling has been told that she cannot become a Spanish citizen because her name is unacceptable.Reason? It could expose a person to ridicule or not clearly indicate gender.
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On to the end-jokes:

Funny Quote: When I worked for the laundry, I would go daily to the convent to ask
the sisters if they had any dirty habits.

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Q:What did the blonde’s left leg say to her right leg?
 A:Between the two of us, we can make a lot of money.

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Two old women were sitting on a bench talking.

One asked the other: “How’s your husband holding up in bed these days?”

 The second old woman replied, “He makes me feel like an exercise bike.”

 ”How’s that?” “He climbs on and starts pumping away, but we never get anywhere!’
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Till next time,keep Smiling.

Hi,everyone. I’ve been on rediffblogs since three and a half years. So, just thought it’s time for a change. So, here goes:(This is my latest post from http://amitsmusings.rediffblogs.com):

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Thought for the day: If you walk with your face towards the sun, your shadow will fall behind you. (I first heard this one on Radio Australia long back)
Here’s how rumours spread, when you’re standing in the middle of a queue of around 600 anxious people.
The first one, apparently the only one who can read the notice on the board, since it’s hidden from view by his height, starts the rumour as he keeps reading.

1) The notice board says there are limited documents. (I grinned away at the terror-stricken faces of the people ahead of me).
2) They say no documents will be given for people from Sharjah and Ajman. (More terror strikes).
3) They say only one token per person….’But I have two ….’…wailed the guy in front of me.
4) Oh, there are just 5-10 vacancies per ..…(Terror strikes again).

Some people ahead of me were talking’ Oh, I couldn’t sleep all night, so I arrived here at 530 AM.’

I did my good deed for the day by not letting the rumour pass on to the people behind me, since I knew the ‘procedure’ from past experience and also because I believe in the saying ‘Ignorance is bliss.’ So, what you don’t know, cannot hurt you’. Heh heh.

So, we had first half of 600 plus people, looking ill, the second half, calm and collected. And, me in the middle, grinning.

Inside, seats were arranged for all who were waiting. But, of course, the worried ones kept standing. I sat with two of the people whom I’d calmed down. The huge grin of relief of most of those coming out of the building, with the documents clutched in their hands more strongly than they would clutch a pot of 1 kg gold won during the DSF, had to be seen to be believed.

Full credit to the institution, for an excellent arrangement, though, which ensured that no one had to wait for more than 30-45 minutes from the time they reached the entrance door. I can just imagine the jostling and trampling which would have taken place, had this been in India.

Any guesses what the queue was for?
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I was thinking of the most interesting(read’funniest’) lines I’ve heard, since I came to Dubai five years back. For a start, here goes:

- A Boss: (At the time I had just arrived in Dubai): To get the upper hand with suppliers, you have to have steel b*lls. (Hidden meaning was clear)
- Friend: Let’s have the A La Karate (a la carte)
- Supplier(s): THIS is my visiting card( For God’s sake, I know a visiting card when I see it, I’m not THAT dumb, I feel like saying) and THAT(With dirty finger moving precariously over the number) is my mobile number. Call me ANYTIME, day or night. ( I never took up that invitation. God is good without the need to call for such shady characters. LOL).
- A Boss: Don’t smile or laugh so much. I don’t think much of people who laugh too much. ( I smiled and said ‘OK’, but, I stopped smiling in front of him, from that day, and used to grin inwardly, maintaining a stone face outwardly, whenever he used to try and make me laugh, till the day I left my previous company.)
- Colleague: If you don’t mind, I don’t have mind also.

More quips coming up later, as I jog my memory.
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Interesting health capsule from TOI:
Early detection of Alzheimer’s disease, according to researchers, is easily done. Those in the Alzheimer’s group could identify only 10-15 animals in the span of one minute. Healthy humans could name 20-25 animals.
(Try it-what’s your score?)
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Still on TOI, here’s another interesting site being promoted by them. http://indiapoised.com. I’ve yet to read all the matter contained therein, but,there’re some good sections, like ‘What’s holding us back’, ‘A day in the life of India’(Which has cartoons from RKL and Ajit Ninan). And,it seems to be quite interactive.
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Funny quips from ‘Everybody Loves Raymond’:
Argument about who’s the better wife::Ray’s wife to his brother’s wife: Why did you gift us this book’ Marriage is a Circus-embrace your clown’?

On to the end-jokes:
Actual in-flight quotes of humour from the Pilots/Crew:

“Your seat cushions can be used for flotation, and in the event of
an emergency water landing, please paddle to shore and take them with
our compliments.”
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“As you exit the plane, make sure to gather all of your belongings.
Anything left behind will be distributed evenly among the flight
attendants. Please do not leave children or spouses.”
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“Last one off the plane must clean it.”
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Another flight attendant’s comment on a less than perfect landing:
“We ask you to please remain seated as Captain Kangaroo bounces us
to the terminal.
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An obviously underage boy goes into a bar, climbs up onto a stool, and calls the barmaid.
“Can I help you little boy?”, she asks.
“I’d like a double shot of Jack Daniel’s,” he replies.
She exclaims, “What do you want to do, get me into trouble?”
“Sounds good to me,” he answers, “but how “bout the drink first?”
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What did the Indian say when the white man tied his dingdong in a knot?
“How come?”
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The way Mallika’s been charging the moon for her ‘appearances’, like in the Dec 31 show at the Hotel, we should call her ‘Monneyka’ Sherawat. (I ‘generated’ this joke)
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Curious thoughts for the day:
-If love is blind, why is ling*rie so popular?
-Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks?
-Looking at mergers taking place world over, I wonder::If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?
-If olive oil comes from olives, where does baby oil come from?
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Q: How do you tell if a blonde did your landscaping
A: The bushes are darker than the rest of the yard.
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Till next time, keep on smiling.

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